


The Question

by TheHazardsofLove13



Category: Hamlet - Shakespeare
Genre: Crack, Gen, Pineapples
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-05
Updated: 2017-09-05
Packaged: 2018-12-24 04:21:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12004896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheHazardsofLove13/pseuds/TheHazardsofLove13
Summary: Rosencrantz and Guildenstern mess with Hamlet and make Monty Python references. Because of course they do.





	The Question

“To be or not to be, that is the question,” Hamlet said, staring out into the distance as he leaned against the stone wall of the palace. He was alone now, no one to hear what he was really thinking, behind the layers upon layers of acts he played, behind the feigned madness that in his darkest moments he doubted was feigned at all, now he could finally be himself. Or so he thought.

“A question,” a voice interrupted him.

“What?” Hamlet asked, turning to find Rosencrantz and Guildenstern standing next to him. He sighed, rubbing his temple. These two were inseparable, insufferable, and friends with him. God only knows how that had happened.

“Well it’s certainly a question,” Guildenstern said. “But isn’t it kind of limiting to say that it is THE question?”

“There are many questions, that isn’t the only one,” Rosencrantz continued without missing a beat. At times, Hamlet doubted if they were even two people at all, but one person who, through some strange act of magic, had split into two bodies. “Let me think of some more...why is the sky blue?”

“Why is the earth round?” Guildenstern continued and the two continued to parry questions back and forth.

“What is your name?”

“Why does the sun rise?”

“What is your quest?”

“What is the meaning of life?”

“What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?”

“Why won’t you two leave me alone?” Hamlet interjected, getting irritated with the pair.

Rosencrantz turned to look at him, tilting his head. “That’s definitely a question too.”

There was a brief silence before Guildenstern spoke. “Pineapples.”

“What?” Rosencrantz and Hamlet said in unison, turning to look at him.

“Pineapples aren’t a question,” Rosencrantz said.

“No but they invite so many!” Guildenstern countered. “What are they? Why the spines? Why are they so unfriendly? What have we ever done to them? Are they even real? They don’t seem real.”

Rosencrantz and Guildenstern looked at each other for a moment, containing laughter, before they spoke in perfect unison. “To pineapple or not to pineapple, that is the question.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Reviews and kudos are always appreciated.


End file.
